Dear Facebook, We Need to Talk

We need to talk. I'm seeing other people. I know I've been distant lately.  In fact, we never really talked about why I walked away from you for a while two years ago and I really feel bad about that. You wanna know why? I don't TRUST YOU! You're like that studly rockstar surfer / skatepunk boyfriend I dated briefly in college who threw those really AWEsome parties?! He was so cool but Oh so unreliable! So, I ditched him. He'd never been ditched before. Ha!  .....See? FB, you are so popular I couldn't resist you...even when I knew you were no good for me I kept overlooking your faults and taking you back. I HAD to have you but I really never liked it!
You were slutty, shifty, & unreliable! ....especially with my personal information! You spilled my secrets without hardly a blink or an "I'm sorry!" I knew that. Everyone knew that. Where was my privacy? I had to keep tweaking things to feel safe around you and every other week or month you let me down or flipped the script on me! You also changed almost every other month - like big change.

You are EXHAUSTING! I still don't know what to expect. I don't think I'll EVER fully trust you! At least I never played any of your games. Me? Farming? Seriously? I.Think.Not. Also, your pages? They're really toxic and negative. Lots of trolls and over the top political stuff. And the babies? Gah! Who cares if little Johnny is pooping on his own now, really?
Another thing, with you, my worlds collided. All of a sudden it's like I'm at this party surrounded by all my old high school and college friends who were showing my new EdTech professional & librarian friends pictures of me from my partying hardcore punk rock, rockabilly, & new wave 80's and days?! Tagging me here, tagging me there!  Without even asking me! WTH!? I had to go around & untagging and yanking them so that I could keep some semblance of professionalism. I even had one guy a pebbly beach (I wasn't even in the pic) and each pebble was tagged with old friends. He just wanted attention. Really?  That's another thing. Attention seeking people being cryptic? Who needs that?

 I had had it up to here, FB and I left you. Remember that? I just upped and walked away. Of course you didn't make it easy. For some reason it's easy to "take a break" from you but to totally leave and quit you I had to go through hell!
I stayed away from you for 6 months or maybe it was a year. All I know is that I almost felt shameful about it and no, I didn't blog about it then. Because I new I really should be  
AT THAT DAMN SOCIAL MEDIA PARTY! But I realized to do it properly I had to say goodbye to all my old high school and college friends and come back to you alone. I needed to be seen at that party but I came back on MY TERMS. For my web presence I felt that I had to be on Book of Faces but I didn't have to like it.

So yeah, you're hot and I used you as much as you used me but I never really liked it. I came back alone, open, transparent, and professional. Did you notice that I was chilly with you? Only throwing you a nod here and there with most ALL of my love going to Twitter? Yeah, didn't think so. And frankly, not to sound shallow...though you're really popular and all you're not all that attractive - that ALWAYS bothered me. Not like my first....MySpace! [swoons at the memory] Now THAT was a Pretty InterFace!
I gave up my first social media BF... MySpace Tom for you! I had molded MySpace (Is it still there? Did you take yours down? If so, it's like some kind of frozen early Internet record of my life!) Anyway, I dressed my MySpace up with some of my awesome HTML skillz, and pimped it out so great...then well it changed, it grew old, I got bored, it got blocked by my school filter, and I got tired of it & started seeing you. But now..
Now I'm leaving you for GooglePlus. Ok, not leaving per se. Thanks to a Chrome Extension I can connect you two (gee, you don't mind do you?) and thanks to If This Then That I've got my Google+ going to my Twitters (please do NOT ask me for an invite, I'm clear out :-( So....I really think that Google+ is going to satisfy my social media needs with my Twitters being first. The parties are better, more thoughtful - I'm definitely moving in better circles now. I love the Twitter chats  (#TLChat #EdChat) where I can get more in 20 min there than days talking with you!  I can't see giving up my Twitters. I hope Facebook you don't mind...but really? I could care less if you do. HA! Booya!
Please, don't call me, I've set up a Gmail filter to skip my inbox on all your emails....and for gosh sakes and for the love of all that is holy.......
Update: 5.1.12 We're broken up for good! And really, I doubt I'll ever come back. I even found a way around how to have a school FB page without compromising my own email address...ha! And G+?? Just keeps getting better. 

UPDATE: 5-12-18 (ironic, right?) OK, so G+ didn't really pan out the way I was hoping it would. But I'm still loving Twitter AND I've also fallen hard for Instagram. Vine....well, that was a thing. Then it wasn't [le sigh] Really? It's not the social media we do or the platform it's the professional way that we communicate with our communities, model a positive digital footprint for the kiddos, and build a strong and varied personal learning network of ...yes, Friends! 

So what kind of relationship do you have with the Facebooks? Do you see it changing with Google+? I'd love to hear what you think!


  1. HILARIOUS! And useful! Love the pics! AWESOME! Is MySpace Tom in one of your circles, at least???

  2. I haven't checked out Google+, and I'm not sure if I will. I learned a long time ago never to say never. I like Facebook, but not because of Farmville. I'll never play that game (Oh, wait, that's right). Regardless, I love your post and maybe - just maybe - you might be getting me to consider checking out Google+. Just don't tell anybody.

    1. Dear Tom,
      Your secret is safe with me! Muuwaa!
      ps. Still have the overalls?

  3. Dear Ms. Slim, Thanks dear! And of course! Tom Anderson is in one of my G+ circles! I hope he understands I still regard him fondly!

    Tom - Thanks so much for your comment & Tweet! I'm not about to tell you who you should love or stay with - I just want you to be happy! [grins] And your secret is safe with me!

  4. Excellent post, darling librarian (yeah... that's right... I said it... HERE is the love, MWA ha!)

    I recently struggled with the same professional/personal collision in which I responded by pushing back hard on FB. Colleagues pressuring me to friend them, asking why I didn't when we met face to face. This is all a little too weird. There's absolutely no reason for the privacy issues faced weekly with FB or the ignorance its users demonstrate toward the privacy of others (family... please read between the lines!).

    I've resolved to maintain an FB profile so that family/friends can watch my little one grow up. I've embraced Google+ for the power professional connector that it is and I'm loving all of the ways my colleagues are sharing such great content through G+. (That includes you, my dear).

    Thanks for keeping it real.

    - Matthew

  5. Thanks dear Matthew! That's a great compromise & I admire and respect your decision. If you must needs unfriend me on FB I'll totally understand. You are def in my Geek Tribe G+ circle, my friend.

    For myself....I've just resolved (since I'm child-free by choice) to not use ANY social networking for my social life. As an intensely busy career girl I don't have much of one anyway! LOL It's just too potentially sticky. I don't allow myself to be photographed sipping champagne (or any kind of adult beverage) singing Karaoke カラオケ, or dancing the Can Can!

    Frankly, I think cameras & smart phones should be banned at all teacher parties - too easy for people to look unprofessional & risk their careers. What happens outside school - should stay outside school. But that's me. I'm draconian! ;-) So my friends when we're hanging out & you whip out your camera don't be surprised when I put up my hand Paparazzi style, or dive under the table or behind a potted plant! LOL

  6. Love the posting, Gwyneth, and, as always, your graphics are dazzling! I still need to figure out Google+, but I like the concept of being able to differentiate categories of people I communicate with with the circles. I did give in and joined the crowd on Facebook a while back, and use that mostly for personal postings, but am still careful about what I post. I love Twitter, and use that for professional postings. I'm going to look into how I can weave Google+ and Twitter together.

  7. I might be the last hold out in the rain but I'm not moving to G+. yet. So many of my family & friends are on FB I can't see leaving it and I don't have any room in my life right now for ANOTHER social network. I get move of my professional connection via Twitter anyway, there just isn't anything driving me toward G+ yet.

  8. Thank you so much for your comment, Bobbi! I totally understand that the Librarian by Day has found her social media niche. And I think we both feel more connected to Twitter...
    In the meantime, you keep FB happy & I'm gonna snuggle up to G+

  9. I LOVE this! I've toyed with the idea of a big break-up for a while. At the very least I contemplated splitting my worlds before they collided and destroyed one another. Surprisingly, after floating that idea I heard from both universes that they LIKED hearing about and seeing a glimpse into my "other" life. So... Google+ comes along at an interesting time. Can I handle one more social media connection and make it valuable to me and others? I'd love to hear more about what it took to extract yourself from the FB grasp! Thanks for a very entertaining post -- can't wait to see you in NC in October.

  10. I too am ready for a facebook break-up. However, I have not joined G+. This was a very funny post. I look forward to my attempt to dump facebook.

  11. Like many have said, I am ready to move on to something that will let me have more control over my information and privacy settings. It seems like every time I turn around, Facebook has changed something that lets out more information than what I want! I am curious to try out google+ but unfortunately, there are no spots available at this time.

  12. Gwyneth, You said a lot of what I was thinking just today! Well I did not have the whole metaphor worked out but the idea of leaving FB, and asking myself if I could leave, wondering who and what I would be leaving behind....I have tried in the past and failed yet I am really not a FB junkie. It's just nice to know I can connect with people that live far away or who I know from 30 years ago!!

    I have to spend some time thinking about this whole thing. I hate the way FB takes advantage of us as a captive audience. How dare they dictate to us how things will be?? Really? You don't care how I feel about it, FB? You're just gonna do it and minimize the impact saying "most people did not use this feature anyway?" What does that even mean?

    I just wish we could all go on strike against FB and demand our rights...I am a fairly moderate person and do not post my entire life on FB...just some pets or trips now and then and I have resisted the temptation to post personal information or engage in any kind of socio political conversations (I think these things are very personal).

    I like how many have turned their FB pages into professional pages and I try to have mainly professional content too....Thank you very much for the food for thought!


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